I think a large proportion of us are .... how shall I put it? . ...... more experienced chaps: men of the world, even, but with that experience comes a tendency not to suffer fools or foolishness gladly. To put it bluntly and colloquially, we don't take no sh!t off no-one!
So here's your chance, fellows, to let rip about the things that really, really annoy you ...
Me first .... bananas ....
It seems to me that bananas used to come ready to eat, if you so desired. You could nip into the supermarket at lunchtime, buy a sandwich (don't even get me started on modern sandwich fillings!) and a banana, safe in the knowledge that it would be just ripe and nice to eat after you'd enjoyed your sandwich. But now, they're ALWAYS green. Sometimes barely a hint of yellow at all. You have to take them home to ripen, then they all ripen on the same day and half of them are black and look like dried-out slugs by the time you're ready to eat them! Let's hope Theresa May addresses that one in the coming election!
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As for bananas, Margaret Thatcher was a grocer's daughter and would have been the PM to ask about bananas, Theresa May is a vicar's daughter.
I guess Mrs May would be the one to ask about apples, then
I'd talk more about it but I can't be bothered.
I do a lot of litter picking.
I sit down (anyone's house) and then realise something's really annoying me. Then I realise my back is thrust upwards because I'm lying atop a great bloody pile of cushions. Sofas were designed to be perfectly comfortable without.
Women are clearly doing their make-up, the time they take. But the other issue is that men could line up four at a time in a gents in a fraction of the space, keeping out of the way of the ladies.
Now there is a massive queue - and women are caught up behind men too. Equality does not equal common sense.
Coming to a place near you soon. Nightmare !
I'm liking this Victor Meldrew thread.
I hadn't thought about bananas. Good point though.
Parking? Definitely. What gets me is people parking at the end of a row, FOUR FEET from the end. What a waste of space!
Cushions- that's my house! I'm always chucking cushions off before sitting down. Lol (if you're reading this darling, i think the cushions are fine really. Really ...)
Ok here's mine. Yes, being of that age, I could write a book of these too!
Cafe Seating.
A table with four seats is meant for at least two people. If you are on your own, please do not take up an entire table of four, because people are so scared of sitting with strangers! The amount of times I've tried to find a table for two or more where all the four seaters are occupied by singular diners is nauseating! My wife is very cool though. She's probably the only person I've seen approach a stranger and ask if we could share his table. I know I wouldn't mind, but few would ask. As we sat there, the chap was polite, kept himself to himself and kept reading his paper. It was perfectly fine!
I think more people should be able to speak up to ask to share a table, and singles shouldn't take up table meant for more than one.
It's a general sort of Think of Others attitude that is lacking.
Time for another?
Food Descriptions
Why does it take sixteen words to describe a cheese sandwich? Because it's not just any old cheese sandwich. Oh no, it's a Mild smoked Gloucestershire cheddar with thinly sliced Somerset Cherry tomatoes and seven grain wholewheat enriched focaccia. Right. You can't buy orange juice anymore. It's something like Freshly squeezed organically grown Southern Spanish Clementine juice. I'm a graphic designer and couldn't imagine working on product design for these hippies! Writers are bad enough when they want four thousand words crammed into the space the size of a large postage stamp, but trying to achieve any sort of balance or impact with modern food titles would drive me loopy! Having been out of the country for twenty years, I didn't notice this verbosity creep in, so it sort of hit me hard. Of course, I need glasses to read now so to tell if I'm buying lemonade or lager I have to take a few second steps longer to don my specs.
Oo it makes me seethe!
OK.
- Bags on seats on trains ! Aaaargh ! Especially when people are standing.
- Tailgaiters
- Drivers indicating Left all the way around a round-a-bout
- People squeezing ahead at the bar
- Cherry Coke in a can that looks just like Diet Coke (the exact antithesis in flavour)
- People fussing with coins and vouchers at the checkout, why weren't they at the ready ?
- Being ignored after saying hello/good morning to someone.
- Gary Lineker - just so smug
Of the toilets issue. We now have blokes peeing up the back of the building and drinking only halves - so the bar take is well down. Perhaps the proprietors will get the message.
And my real, REAL pet hate ... automated telephone answering systems. What's wrong with people? Believe it or not, I like people, I really do. I want to talk to a person, even if they're a spotty oik who's completely disinclined to help me (because I'm eventually going to get onto them anyway, so....)
More to come, but I need to go and lie down .....
We were trying to get my son off to university by train and very nearly missed our connection for a long distance journey. A tailback of at least a mile going 15mph in a 40mph limit. Others in that queue would doubtless have been trying to get to work or go to important appointments.
Two cyclists were holding up a heavy lorry at the head of the queue.
Cyclist friends of mine say "If you can't overtake two cyclists you shouldn't be overtaking at all. Na, naa, na, naaa NAAAA !"
Well
-A bad overtaker isn't going to give you the right amount of room even if you pair up. All you are doing is teaching good overtakers an unneeded (and very inconvenient) lesson. You are not my teacher, you self righteous little twerp !
- Drivers then have to drive faster to get where they need to be once you are out of their way. (As did I this morning) increasing the risks for all road users.
- I dislike bad drivers as much as you, but I surround myself in metal and mirrors to protect myself from them - you, however, have decided to mingle in heavy traffic atop a modified coat hanger wearing a gymslip with an eggbox on your head.
Finally
- It always happens (as with you this morning) that you are chatting whilst side-by-side. One would have thought (in a spirit of mutual respect and awareness) that you would at least cycle as fast as you reasonably can to help other road users out.
Now, I don't advocate violence but I fully understand why some cyclists get biffed.
**Rant over**
I'd find something really worth worrying about.
With people at the bar - I'm so onto them! I'm not a boisterous character but when I have to be, I can push in front of the in-front-of-pushers and loudly (smiling!) get my order in first. Little punks don't know what hit em.
Feeling better now, Dave?
Oh we found lots of things worth worrying about. It's very cathartic isn't it!!
If you are on Twitter, make sure you follow Very British Problems, or at least pick up the book. Very funny stuff, and so SO true.
Here's one that puts my blood pressure in the danger zone...
People talking on the phone while being served by a cashier. Please have the courtesy to talk to the person who is kind enough to serve you rather than hacking away at someone whoknowshowmanymiles away!
I used to work in retail, and once had a customer stand at the till, seriously chatting up a girl on the phone. I mean, he was laying it on THICK. My manager gave us all license to wait for customers to get off the phone before serving them, so I just stood there and listened and acted like he was talking to me.
...are you busy tonight?
...well actually I have to work, but..
... I could come over.
...well do you have my address...?
When he cottoned on to what I was doing he suddenly looked really horrified, and apologized profusely, backpedalling like crazy. OH NO NOT YOU IM ON THE PHONE DID YOU THINK OH MAN IM SOOO SORRY...
When I started to laugh, he laughed, and we cracked up together, it was hilarious. But I don't think he tried that one again.
Yea the cyclists thing gets to me too, particularly as I'm a cyclist and a driver.
Hey cyclists, you're mainly flesh and bone, and my vehicle weighs about a third of a ton - YOU DO THE MATHS,
As it happens, I have just encountered one of my pet hates……unremovable apparantly permanently fixed, "Sticky" labels, attached to items, particularly when bought as gifts, that deface said item and leave blemishes & goo when finally removed!!
(And why oh why do they ALWAYS put there f***ing sticky labels over the instructions or information)!!!
Why make a label that needs the production of a special label remover liquid ???
Grrr.
But without the *benefits*
We get collections, fortunately.
People who wear huge rucksacks on their back in the rush hour on the tube and are completely oblivious to what's going on behind them.
Silver shark, yes and yes. I will only press the button when it's heavy traffic.
...
Luggage on wheels in crowded areas. If I trip on one of those things, I swear, I'm hucking it in the path of the next train!
F***ing CHEATS!!!